How Come

ime to lighten’ up a little bit. Humor is good for the soul. Taken from George Carlin:

* How come wrong numbers are never busy?

* Do people in Australia call the rest of the world “up over”?

* Does that screwdriver belong to Philip?

* Can a stupid person be a smart-aleck?

* Does killing time damage eternity?

* Why doesn’t Tarzan have a beard?

* Why is it called lipstick if you can still move your lips?

* Why is it that night falls but day breaks?

* Why is the third hand on the watch called a second hand?

* Why is it that when you’re driving and looking for an address, you turn down the volume on the radio?

* Why is lemon juice made with artificial flavor, and dishwashing liquid made with real lemons?

* Are part-time bandleaders semi-conductors?

* Can you buy an entire chess set in a pawn shop?

* Daylight savings time – why are they saving it and where do they keep it?

* Did Noah keep his bees in archives?

* Do jellyfish get bloated from eating jellybeans?

* Do pilots take crash-courses?

* Do stars clean themselves with meteor showers?

* Do you think that when they asked George Washington for Identification he just whipped out a quarter?

* Have you ever imagined a world with no hypothetical situations?

* Have you ever seen a toad on a toadstool?

* How can there be self-help “groups”?

* How do you get off a non-stop flight?

* How do you write zero in Roman numerals?

* How many weeks are there in a light year?

* If a jogger runs at the speed of sound, can he still hear his Walkman?

* If athletes get athlete’s foot, do astronauts get mistletoe?

* If Barbie’s so popular, why do you have to buy all her friends?

* If cats and dogs didn’t have fur would we still pet them?

* If space is a vacuum, who changes the bags?

* If swimming is good for your shape, then why do the whales look the way they do?

* If tin whistles are made out of tin, what do they make fog horns out of?

* If white wine goes with fish, do white grapes go with sushi?

* If you jog backwards, will you gain weight?

* If you take an Oriental person and spin him around several times, does he become disoriented?

* Why do the signs that say “Slow Children” have a picture of a running child?

* Why do they call it “chili” if it’s hot?

* Why do we sing “Take me out to the ball game, when we are already there?

* Why is the time of day with the slowest traffic called rush hour?

Enough?